So today on this mothers day I would like to share with you some of the many things I have learned from my mom. Good, bad or indifferent these gifts are invaluable because they are the skills and tools I have learned to survive and thrive in what can be a very difficult world.

Mom, I am grateful for you and I admire you strength. You are stubborn, opinionated and refuse to move to the center even when you know you should. This has taught me to stand up for myself, be who I am, and to not take no for an answer. Thank you!

Mom, I am grateful and humbled by the fact that when we had no money you found a way every year to make Christmas and all the important holidays for kids happen. I am grateful for the one Christmas when you and dad came together with the entire family. You had everyone at your home including all of dads family. I still dream about that Christmas, it was truly the most impactful holiday of my life. If we all could strive to put our difference aside and get a long for the children the impact that would have on the world would create global change. It is because of that experience I work so diligently against the tides to be sure that my children have this experience for their entire childhood. Thank you!

Mom, I am grateful that you always fight for the underdog, you volunteer for every cause you believe in, giving your time and heart to so many people. You have even chained yourself to a fence in the 70’s to protest for your beliefs. I may not agree with all that you believe, however I admire your ability to stay true to your convictions and to give to so many people unconditionally. From this I have learned to stand up for what I believe, to help people that are less fortunate then myself and to teach my children the very same things. Thank you.

Mom, although I do not agree with your tactics and reason for showing so much hatred towards my father, I understand your fear and the pain you have endured. I understand that so many things have happened to you as a child and until you heal those wounds it is impossible to heal the adults wounds. For this experience I have helped hundreds of families avoid this very pain. I have helped children find their own voices when their parents can’t seem to get out of their own pain. I have helps parents see where their fear and pain really stem from and to help them shift their consciousness so that they can love their children unconditionally and to really have a child-centered divorce. For this HUGE lesson I have started a career. I am an advocate for children’s rights, for equal parenting, and part of a movement to change the way the court system handles custody and what truly is in the best interest of the children. For so many years and even sometimes now this gets me upset, however it is this most painful lesson that I have healed and grown the most, so I am grateful.

Mom, I love and adore you wild infectious laugh and your hilarious sense of humor. I was blessed with your radiant smile and your exact same laugh. I used to think this was a curse and what I know now is it truly is an extraordinary gift. I can be in a theater and the movie may not be that funny however I find humor so often where others don’t that I can have an entire theater laughing and saying things to me afterward like “ I don’t think I would have laughed at all in this movie however I found myself laughing the entire time because your laugh was so infections”…I would light up knowing that I got that from you☺ and to know that one person can have that affect on so many people, what a gift. One of my favorite memories with you was when we dropped the green chair off at the Goodwill then went to get a drink at the near by Dairy Mart and we both panicked about the loss of the chair, and we went back to get it and we were laughing so hard about the comedy of someone arresting us for stealing this old nasty chair that we dropped off…LOL, Seriously I still laugh out loud about that memory. For this I am so grateful.

Mom, I have felt the pain of your rejection. The pain of wanting you to love me so badly, that I would have done anything. I was a randy teenager, starved for your attention, I bolted across the country after high school and we did not speak for a couple of years, I was sick so often growing up and still nothing. I went through a divorce and instead of understanding I was once again met with rejection. For my entire life I could not figure this one out until recently. I read an article about the narcissistic mother it was like reading my life’s journey with you. I am grateful to have been the black sheep of the family. Much like your parents rejected you and your sister was the favored child. This made me strong, independent, gracious, and kind to others. This forced me out of the nest and into the world at a very young age. This forced me to be my own person. Although the pain was difficult and still is at times this has made me a better mother. This lesson has taught me about fairness, about loving unconditionally, and to accept my children and even the world’s children for whom they are as individuals. I understand that through your own pain you had to pick one child to get the short end of the stick and I was the chosen one. If I looked at it from that perspective I can see that you chose me because you knew that I was much like you and that no matter what I would survive and more importantly, I would thrive. That much like you I could take a licking and keep on ticking. That our fiery Leo personalities would clash and there could only be one leader in the den and that was already you, so you pushed me out…I get it. This has been a hard lesson to learn, but I do get it. I have learned to let go, to forgive, to love unconditionally, and most importantly, I have learned that love, security and self-esteem really come from within. I have learned to really love and accept myself and in doing this I have learned to love and accept others as well. This gift has made me a better coach, parent life partner, friend and person. For this I am eternally grateful.

Mom, I believe that we choose our parents and that we choose our lessons and that often times our childhood experiences make our life’s purpose and our work more rewarding. I am grateful that I have chosen you. I am grateful that you are strong, smart, independent, funny, opinionated, and likable by so many. I am grateful that you have shared your life with me even at a distance. I really do look forward to the day when we can let our guards down and just be with each other, no facades, no judgment, just two great Leo’s sharing our strengths, humor and hearts with each other.

Mom please know that no matter what has happened or happens, I will never stop loving you and I know that in your own way you love me too. Someday maybe we can be doing this very important work together. Nothing would please me more. Really what I can see is you helping so many moms who have been where you have been. I know you have the ability to help so many I have seen it. With your mediation training and all of your skills we could change the world together☺ I would love to see you turn this corner with me. Only time will tell.

Happy Mothers Day Mom! And To all the moms, children and moms that have passed over. May this day be filled with gratitude for all.

Happy Mothers day to all of my friends who have been like a mom to me through the years. You are all amazing and extraordinary women. For all of you I am also grateful.

In love, light and peace,

Happy Mother’s Day!

Dorcy

One of the things my mother told us growing up was that my father burned all of our baby pictures. This was interesting to think about when we were older considering my mother had tons of baby pictures of us they were thrown in a drawer and since we moved around all the time growing up these pictures were getting beaten up pretty heavily. This was very disheartening to see the memories of my youth being treated as if they meant nothing all the while being told how horrible my father was for burning all of these memories. Talk about confusing for a kid.

About 10 years ago before my sister moved East to me near me she took all of the pictures from my mothers house. Most of the pictures were worn and so many were ruined by my mothers many animals and many years of being moved and never being placed into albums for protection. My sister was gracious enough to divide the pictures up between my bother, herself, and me. She made sure that we all had our baby pictures and an equal share of pictures of us together. I am so grateful to have these old photos as they are reminders of times gone by, there are pictures of some of the last trips to dads house that were such faded distant memories after years of being alienated from him. When I look at those pictures I can see and feel the love of my father and this warms my heart.

After many years I am still being blamed for taking those photos even after my sister finally confessed. My mother the severe alienator refuses to see or believe this so she continues to tell the story of how I took these precious memories from her that she so lovingly threw in boxes and drawer to never be looked and or cared for.

When I posted the pictures and I tagged my sister and some of my other relatives on Facebook my sister called me immediately and said ”what are you posting these for take them down mom is going to get mad.” As stated before I had that initial feeling when I was posting and then overcame the fear of what might happen and plunged ahead since they were my baby pictures and I was already being blamed for the crime what did I really care. This anger in my mother really did not have anything to do with the loss of these photos and the memories it had more to do with the loss of control and power she felt by holding them hostage. My treating these photos as if they were nothing yet keeping them from us knowing that we wanted them as if they were gold.

What’s great about the pictures being online is now my mother can also have digital copies of the photos and there is no risk of the animals or lack of a safe place to store these photos.

As a byproduct of drama around the baby pictures growing and I have taken more picture of my two children I could hang all of their photos in my house and cover ever square inch and have massive amounts of pictures leftover. I also became so protective of my photos that no one was allowed to look at the picture when they came back from the printer until they were placed into a photo album in chronological order☺ It humors me now looking back over my past and recognizing where my ridiculous behavior as an adult came from limiting beliefs I created to be truths from decision forming incidents from my youth.

Parental Alienations can be confusing even when we are adults. We slip into old behavior and old patterns even within the dynamics of our sibling relationships. The old fears and feeling of knowing something was not right and yet being totally afraid to express yourself for the fear of what would happen for crossing the alienating parent. My sister still falls prey to this toxic behavior. I feel the old feeling and do as I have always done which is go against the grid for knowing in my intuitive self that what I am doing is loving and also setting the record straight.

There are many things about both of my parents that I love and many things that I could live without. I am happy to be 40 and to have a greater understanding of the journey I have been on and the experiences I have continued to endure at the hands of an alienating parent. I wish for my mother to let go of her years of anger, pain, and hostility, to release her fear of losing control and to allow herself to lien into the abundance of unconditional love the world has to offer.

I am so grateful for technology and the ability to share memories with my family and the world and to know that these old photos can restore to feeling of lost love and realization that my once alienated father always love his children….

Ahhhh now that’s great karma.

Happy Co-Parenting see you next week,

Dorcy Russell
CEO/Founder
Conscious Co-Parenting Institute

I had not read the books so I had no idea what to think. My daughters were excited the theater was packed and the middle school principal was sitting right in front of us with his family. There is always such a natural high about being in a packed theater with kids illuminated with excitement of a much-anticipated movie from a very popular book.

As a parent I was elated that my daughter, who always finds something wrong with everything, found a series of books that she can’t put down and talks about constantly. I wondered why she as all abuzz. The book teaches Greek mythology in a fun, exciting way (as a parent you got to love that). My oldest is a chatter box so the entire movie she was sharing what was different what was going to happen next and how cool everything was, proclaiming at the end that this was better then Harry Potter and now her MOST favorite movie ever☺. Learning at this level and her ability to remember Greek mythology with such detail makes me giddy as a schoolgirl, not for the Greek mythology part but for the fact that she is so excited about learning and retaining information she loves. This just solidifies by beliefs in the dire need for a new education system that fosters the healthy growth of the minds of our children to encourage and support the decision to follow their dreams, their natural interest and talents. Her love of these books allows her to expand and express her creative mind.

The lightening thief is about children that were born to mortal through the procreation with Greek Gods. Percy Jackson and his best friend is a wonderful representation of today’s youth. He has been labeled by the mere mortals, teachers, doctors and adults has being ADHD and dyslexic and so he has low self esteem thinking that there is something wrong with him however feelings bouncing back and forth with thoughts of empowerment (how he speaks out for his mother) to self loathing. While in a museum learning about the Greek Gods everything that is all mixed up he can now see clearly as he is a half blood a demi-god who means his mother is a mortal and his father is a Greek God. Ahhh and then the true lessons that lie in the beautifully constructed story. I love it when Hollywood gets it right. When they reach out to our youth and instead of selling sex and perfection they are teaching love and the building of self-esteem and empowerment. Teaching lessons of purpose and passion and the very things we struggle with on our journey and that most of us don’t even begin to uncover and become aware of until much later in life. This is a wonderful teaching mechanism to teach the children of today who are feeling restless much earlier what most adults see at typical teenage behavior and phases are really the awakening of these beautiful enlighten souls, the children of today that are ready to pounce into their life purpose with passion and vigor at such amazingly young ages.

Percy finds out that he is a demi-god. In the story the Gods are forbidden to have any contact with the demi-god children so these children are raised without one parent. The bond with the missing parent is displayed though telepathic communication and these demi-gods are all knowing that the other parent exists and loves them. (As a co-parenting coach I work with so many kids that talk of this very same phenomenon. That after they are getting out of the clutches of an alienating parent these children say they know that the missing or alienated parent loves them and that sometimes they thought they could hear them talking to them even though they were not there☺) Percy’s best friend is on crutches and it comes out later that he is half goat and half man, he is Percy’s protector in the real world and even Percy thinks this is ridiculous when he finds out, as his friend has obvious physical limitations. These children are being treated differently and being label with things that would in today’s society be looked at as something wrong with them. Something to medicate, or look down upon with either rejection or pity as if they are not good enough creating limiting beliefs for a whole group of children, holding them back creating fear based actions and causing positive forward moving action paralysis. This of course has been happening for centuries, which is why so many adults are confused, and lost dealing with the inner demons of their own limiting beliefs.

The undertone lesson in the story, which is why I think my daughter, who was born with a cosmetic alteration with her ear and ALL children for that matter who are struggling with some type of negative label that their parents or society has placed on them resonate with the books and now the movie. The lesson is this. That we are unique and special with our physical or mental limitations. That we are All GOD we are all special. We are all here to learn and to grow to teach and be taught. That everyone and I mean EVERYONR has a purpose. We are all here in our own unique and special way. That when we place our limiting beliefs on others and ourselves it holds them back and it also holds us back. What it also teaches is that whatever your limiting beliefs are that are holding you back can be changed at the blink of an eye by becoming aware that they are illusions. That limiting beliefs are just that limiting and just beliefs. EVERY ONE of us has a duty to ourselves and others, to gain clarity around our own limiting beliefs so that we can clear and shift them and free our minds and spirits to do the work we chose to come here to do. To walk in our own greatness and to guide our children to walk in theirs. I teach people in my coaching practice skills, mindset, and easy to implement practices to do this I their own lives. I have to say I was so tickled to see this message to hear it loud and clear. It moved me to tears and at the core of my being to see this consciousness shift displayed through books and movies for kids.

If you have not seen the movie take your children. Use it as a tool to talk about the challenges your children are having in their lives. Use it as a door to open up conversation with your children about their own limiting beliefs. Use it to recognize your limiting beliefs and to be accountable for the limiting beliefs you have placed on your children from lack of awareness or your own fears. This movie or the books are a wonderful, fun tool to open up dialog with your children to connect on a level that is beyond the surface it allows you and your children to open up your minds and your hearts to the possibilities of connecting at new and deeper levels. Solidifying your deep connection to your children and to the world as a whole. AHHHHHHH Now that’s creating good karma and connectedness don’t you think?

To the success of creating healthy relationships.

Create a Magnificent day!

Dorcy

Some of you know I have a very tumultuous relationship with my mother. It’s certainly not for my lack of trying to have a better relationship with her. When you’re dealing with an alienating parent even in adulthood 35 years after she divorced my father she still has his behaviors. Unfortunately she has turned her alienation from directly at my father to me.

Last year when my mom turns 60 in bottom of beautiful pendant it was filled with healing stones when I picked it out I had no idea what the stones meant I just saw the necklace it really spoke to me about my mom I really wanted to reach out after all these years and try to heal our relationship. It was interesting when someone pointed out that the stones meant something and I read the card I was blown away by how much those stones were meant for her. I sent the necklace first and then the next day I e-mailed her a 12 page letter. The letter was a letter of forgiveness, a letter of love, and a letter to reconnect. I was extremely hurt by my mother when she so graciously accept the pendent and then when she received the letter chose to not speak to me again.

People could read this and pass judgment on my mother and there are many many things that she has done through the years that certainly would raise a few eyebrows, create or looks on peoples faces of horror when they hear the stories, and interestingly as most of you know who deal with people who alienate children from their other parent there is a master manipulator so the people closest to her she is able to manipulate to believe for toxic lies.

This is not a blog post about bashing my mother is more of a post about enlightening people to how damaging their behavior is to their children. I believe that when we were young my mother really did feel that she was doing the best by not allowing us to see our father at first but then what evolved into parental alienation or shall I say extreme alienation was my mother’s undying desire to sever all ties with not only my father but my father’s family and even her own. When you disagreed with my mom she tell you out if her life and then of course ours. She never once thought about the repercussions or the long-term damage that would have on her children.

I believe the parental alienation stems from a place of fear and lack. It’s from a mentality of the alienating parent never really feeling love or believing that they deserve it. I believe that these limiting beliefs stem from the alienating parent’s childhood by the way they were treated or the way that their parents communicated with them. Alienating parents do not take the time to heal their wounds from the inside out. As I’ve been doing this work with hundreds of target parents and their children, adult children of parental alienation, living and applying it in my own life, and with a small focus group of alienating parents the common thread in the alienator is that they are coming from limiting beliefs that they don’t deserve love. So they graciously pass on their gifts of the limiting belief system of non-deserving mindset. They are behaving in a way that continues to manifest their greatest fear, which is they will never receive love because ultimately they believe they don’t deserve it. The alienating parent projects out into the world, and does to others what they really feel they deserve for themselves.

So many people say to me your mother does horrible things to you how do love her. And often times I asked myself that same question. Like New Year’s Day when I took for metro trains to Pasadena on the hopes that maybe I would get to see my mom and my brother. They were in town for the Rose Bowl. I wrote several times in the prior week’s on my mom’s Facebook wall I left her voice messages, sent her text, I even spoke to her on Christmas day. Of course she made up all the excuses and reasons on that day why she didn’t think it would be possible that we be able to see her even though we were going to be in Pasadena the morning of the rose parade in the Rose Bowl. It’s funny that I’m dating you really want to go to the Rose Parade and he shared with me all the reasons why traffic, parking, too many people, etc. however convinced him that I wanted to go I looked at all the information on the Metro train and off to Pasadena we went the next morning

I told myself that I’ve always wanted to go to the Rose Parade, which was true ,but looking back on it now the child in me really wanted the opportunity to see my mom. Even though we’ve never been close, she’s always taken the divorce out on me (probably because I look like my father) but there’s a part of me that desires a healthy loving bonds and relationship with my mother. I was grateful on New Year’s Eve when my dad’s little brother my uncle Joe’s, family called me to let me know that they too were going to the Rose Parade something that they had never done living in California their entire lives. They were taking a tour bus in from San Luis Obispo my hometown and so I took that as a sign from the universe that I needed to get to Pasadena no matter what.

On the Metro train ride up and had mixed feelings. I was elated to see my extended family whom I love very dearly and I was nervous that my mom would be a no-show. I was keeping the faith that we were there 6 1/2 hours before the game that certainly in that amount of time we would be able to connect even if it is just briefly. We got to the parade met up with my extended family and I continue to call my mom only to get voicemail. I have a sinking feeling that she probably would be a no-show but I kept watching those thoughts out of my mind as I’m a believer that thoughts become things and I didn’t want to manifest that. At 9:30 AM my mom called at butterflies in my stomach kept an open mind and answer the phone. You can imagine my disappointment and broken heart when my mom said they were already in the football stadium six hours before the game starts again it was the same excuses we had to get in our parking spot, there’s so many things to do with the football stadium, we need to get to our seats. Then the next day to read my mothers post Facebook how much fun she had at the Rose bowl and how much she loves her sister and mother that she saw while she was in California, family which she alienated us from most of our childhood, said horrible things about them and then of course when her kids were forming relationships with them in adult hood she went and sabotaged that. So now I no longer have a relationship with my grandmother, this is a whole other story for another day. You can imagine how someone could be hurt, become the victim and take all of this behavior personally. I admit I was crushed at first even shed a momentary tear. Then I sucked it up remember the place of which my o=mother operates the place of lack and limiting belief she does not deserve love and I loved my self and energetically sent the love out into the universe for her.

I didn’t let the Tragedy of the Roses ruined my day, nor did I let that bring in 2010 on a sour note. I know in my heart that I’m a gleaming reminder to my mother of her deepest fears her greatest pain in her lack of love limiting belief system. I let that be the divine gift the universe was providing me which was the reminder of how important my mission is. How important it is to be the voice and force of change for families moving through a divorce and beyond.

I share this with you today not from the victim mindset but from an empowered place. I share this with you today because I think it’s important to share authentically with people what happens in families that are wrought with parental alienation. I share this with you today because in my life and in my business I am striving to do and to teach change. I share this with you today to let you know that you at any moment can change or limiting belief system. You have the opportunity to do, be, act and react differently. I know that this journey that we are all on can be difficult, challenging, and wrought with pain. Is how you choose to handle the difficulties challenges and pain that will cause quantum leaps in your life and in your relationships.

I hold out hope for my relationship with my mother. I hope to be able to express myself in a way this year to let my mom know and show my mom that although I don’t agree with her treatment for her behavior that my love is unconditional. I hope to be able to express myself in a way that only with my mother but with everybody in my life that love is universal and that love comes from the inside out. My intentions this year with Conscious Co-Parenting Institute is to continue to raise the awareness and push forward the journey to eliminate parental alienation globally. I do know from my own personal experience and in the work that I do that when we become aware of our limiting beliefs we increase our consciousness we can shift our behaviors, take responsibility for our contributions good bad or different, and we can love ourselves unconditionally and it is from this place that the world and the global consciousness shifts.

Create a GREAT day!

Dorcy

Holidays can be trying and challenging for a lot of divorced families. We were hoping that Rob and his children were going to come for part of the holiday however his ex was not going to have it. It is unfortunate that the children suffer at the insecurities and lack mentality of their parents. It is unfortunate when divorced parents don’t really put the needs of their children first and manipulate their children into thinking that their needs and desires are the same as their parents.

So this holiday as our families change and grow we make adjustments to what is and what is not. We enjoy each other when we have the time to spend with each other and we let go of the expectations we have of the perfect family or the perfect scenario and go with the flow. When this happens it create a peace and harmony in what can easily be a chaotic situation. We can move from a place of allowing the alienating parent to control and manipulate our emotions to just being.

My ex and I have a relationship where we can be in the same room with each other and be kind and courteous. He came over Christmas morning after we had our time with Santa and had some lunch and we exchanged gifts. It is not my favorite part of Christmas for me, however it is my children’s favorite part. Even though they know mom and dad will never be together again they like it when we spend time together with them. It is important to set a good example for our children after divorce that their relationship with both of their parents is important.

The day after Christmas the girls went to their dads for the second half of the holiday break. This part is particularly painful to me as my mother who continue to behave in an alienating fashion sends the girls big presents to their dads house, along with my grandmother who has been manipulated by my mother she no longer send me the hand selected Hallmark Holiday card she send them to my ex titled to the Worlds Greatest Grandson…it is perplexing at best considering my grandmother has only seen my ex 3 times at most in the 18 years I have know him. What’s unfortunate is how my ex thinks that this is ok and encourages this behavior. He is the passive aggressive alienator and pretends like he is unaware of the damage this causes to our children. This used to infuriate me now that understand the psychology of this toxic behavior I no longer allow their behavior to impact me. I come from a place of forgiveness and let it go.

So many alienators love to say “well I am not an alienator because they ma not say out right You other parent is bad, or mean or does not love you, because they behave in a very passive aggressive way they can fool a lot of people into thinking they are the victim and that their has wronged them they have done nothing etc, however this year is the year that Parental Alienation in all of is fall out will be included in the DSM (Diagnosis and statistical mental disorders. If not you have not sent in your vote can do so here http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?page_id=5372 This will bring in more consistency to family court and more importantly catch and stop the behavior early on. I do believe that some alienators can stop. When they can set aside their anger and pain and their victim mindset and truly put their disdain and hate for the other parent aside and put the love for your children first.
The man I am seeing his ex came after me this past weekend when we went to get the kids. She would not open the door she had the kids speak to me through the mail slot on the door. She finally came to the door when Rob threatened to call the police and charge her with kidnapping. She came after me with all guns a blazing. She was all over the map screaming toxic nonsense and anger at me for bloging and doing what I do. Angry for accusing her of being an alienator yet continue to scream at me in front of her children belittling Rob and then me in front of the children. She has her daughter spying on us. She removes our business cards from Robs house and anything else she want to use to try to manipulate. It is very unfortunate. She even has her children reading what I write. She thinks that what she is doing is normal and that having adult conversations with her children is appropriate. She feels that using them, as her sounding board for all the horrible things she feels Rob has done is somehow healthy and normal. She thinks that yelling at me and raising her hands to hit me more then once in front of her children is normal and healthy. She believes that now the demise of her relationship is my fault yet the separated 3 years before we met. She has now turned her toxic behavior towards me. Worried I am sure of any type of relationship I would have with their children she is taking this opportunity to throw me under the bus. What is the saddest apart of all of this is the kids are caught in the crossfire. They are trying to not be disloyal to their mother who is constantly fit to be tied and in the process spirally into the lack mentality, hate and despair. They are so confused they say things like I am destroying their family? That’s perplexing since the divorce was four years ago. The kids are using vulgar language towards me as if this is ok. The ex was making a stance for her pride as she did not want to me to see inside her house as they just got back from a trip and the suitcases were still in the living room and that was why she was so upset, the verbal attack was irrational and all over the board. It ended with her finally sending the reluctant children out to the car and me leaving her porch. If I had it to do over again we would have notified her that I was coming as well so she could get prepared, however in an effort to contact his children for the entire week prior with not one return phone call except from his 8 year old son just prior to our drive to her home to pick them up, it would be difficult to have achieved that task.
I will chalk up his ex’s claims to not being an alienator to her lack of really knowing what that means. My hope for the children is that she will realize what her behavior is doing to her children before they turn on her in adulthood. My hope is that all the alienators of the world will take the time to heal their wounds to understand the source of their behavior and get the help that they need to learn how to truly love themselves and then love others including their children. It does not have to be this difficult. There does not need to be all this hurt, drama and pain. Nobody is saying that divorce is easy. It really does not matter who is to blame it takes two to tango some alienators love to claim that since they did not want to leave the unhealthy marriage that the target parent is 100% to blame so therefore they do not deserve to have any kind of a relationship with their children. They think it is okay to tell the children that the other parent left the family when in reality the other parent left the marriage not the family. These false claims and attacks damage the children’s self esteem and relationship in the future. A lack of understand at this level is what causes early onset of drug abuse, inappropriate sexual activity and suicide in teens. It is with greater awareness change happens.
My intent to shed light on my personal journeys through parental alienation is to help others see the errors of their ways, to understand that change can happen when you make the choice to change and that love and forgiveness is a simple change action away. An alienator can make the decision to do something different and then do it. A target parent can respond and take constructive action at anytime it is making the decision to do it and then doing it. It really is that simple. I have watched it in my own life and I have coached many others to do the very same thing. All you have to do is make a different choice.
As a side note To Rob’s ex who is now reading my blog, I invite you to let go of your anger. I invite you to think about the ramification your actions and words have on your children as well as yourself. I am more then happy to talk with you when ever you wish. I want you to know that I understand your pain and I understand your fear and I understand how you feel about me I even understand your anger towards your ex. I am not trying to take any thing from you. I am simply trying to help the man I love have a healthy loving relationship with his children that he once had. There is plenty of room in their hearts to love both of you and the people you both choose to share your lives with, it does not have to be wrought with fighting and hatred. It can be filled with love and connectedness. I know you don’t want to be my friend and no one is saying that you have to be what is important is to encourage the bond between both you and you’re children as well as their father and their children. They are not a possession to be fought over they are human beings who can think and act for themselves. One day they will grow into adulthood and nothing world be more tragic then to watch your beautiful children grow into their adulthood with hatred in their hearts and learned behavior that is not healthy or loving. It will affect ALL of their relationship. Including their relationship with you trust me, I KNOW!!!!!
Next week I will share my journey to the Rose Parade in hopes of seeing my mother and my continued efforts to bridge the gap…

In love and Peace,

Dorcy Russell

So many clients have been wrought with sorrow this year as this is their year without their children and they are feeling panic and anxiety that things will be different and they will be alone and lonely…So many people are wrapped up in the fact that the illusions of holidays gone by are the ways they are suppose to spend their holidays now and the fact that the kids will be with their other parent they really are stuck…I remember my first Christmas without my girls…I was overwhelmed with pain and sorrow I was angry with myself for not being able to make my marriage work and for being so unhappy…I was filled with self doubt blame, sorrow and pain…One of my dear friends invited me to spend the Christmas with her and her family in NewYork. This was also her first Christmas without her daughter so she was feeling the same pain…so reluctantly off to the great white north I headed…It was not the preferred way I thought at time, to spend the holidays but I must admit that the new traditions was fun. It was great to be in the city at Christmas it snowed and the tree at Rockefeller center was beautiful…It was strange to be away from my girls but I wanted to really be by myself to really spend time getting to know me and to figure out what I really wanted out on my life and wanted to start discovering who I was.

So many this year are still struggling with their limiting believes about the holidays stuck in the what should be verse really creating what they really want or really just recognizing that they do not have to buy into everybody elses traditions and limiting beliefs. The holiday season is a time to reflect a time to give thanks a time to be grateful for who you are and the opportunity to create a life that you desire and love. It is a time to remember that you are here for a greater purpose that you are here to bring love and joy to many and to do this you must bring love and joy to yourself.

So many have asked me to help them change their mindset and to come up with new things to do and ways to spend the holidays. So here are some suggestions If you are without your children.

Take a trip go someplace you have always wanted to go.

If truly being alone is more then you could bare this year then spend time with people you love. Ask someone close if they mind if you can come over and be with their family. People love to give and you would be surprised how many people would love your company and having you over.

Every year that my kids are with me we bake for two days before Christmas and we invite everyone we know especially if we know they re alone for the holidays we love opening our home to people and sharing our hearts and our home with people.

If you have the money, adopt a family buy the kids presents and go over Christmas eve And share your love…Giving during the holidays really brings out something in a human that is really hard to explain until you do it.

Find peace, love and forgiveness for yourself and your ex…remember to nurture you and all that you are and your divine soul. You deserve it.

Rent or buy all the funny Christmas movies and watch them all in a row…I did this last year after I left a friends house Christmas eve I laughed so hard it was brilliant

Lat year I went to dear friends home we had dinner and I helped put their four yr olds daughter bike together with Santa what fun was that. Sharing the joy of other children is so fun and takes the sting out of not being with yours. LOVE LOVE LOVE…

Feed the homeless this is so rewarding and they are so appreciative. You know I did this for Thanksgiving and I had so much fun. I was happy and cheerful and greeted everyone with a smile and something positive to say to each and every person that came through the line. Being an empath and able to feel the energy of others I could feel their spirits lifting and some people just down on their luck were so grateful to see a smiling face at the end of the food line.

Go down into a poor neighborhood in your area and take wrapped presents and give them out to the children playing in the street…so rewarding.

I have taken coats down to the homeless shelter on Christmas and passed them out until they were gone, giving from your heart is uplifting and rewarding and knowing that you are helping someone less fortunate is divine.

Go to the abused women shelter and bring toys and gifts for the women and children who have no other place to go and are spending the holidays scared and alone and probably feeling pretty hopeless.

These are all things to do when you have your children as well. Teaching your children to be compassionate is one of the beautiful rewards we have as a parent to see you children act in a compassionate manner. It will truly make your heart soar.

Go to a retirement home and spend the day entertaining and visiting the elderly. If you feel alone go spend time with those who truly are alone you will hear some amazing stories. Bring games, cards anything to entertain these lovely people.

Go to the hospital and visit the children’s ward…seriously you want to bring some joy and cheer go spend some time with the terminally ill kids their spirits are truly AMAZING you will seriously feel so blessed and to connect with the young people of today is one of the greatest pleasures of my life.

My mom taught us early about volunteering and giving back. We reluctantly did meals on wheels, volunteered all the time, we visited to elderly, and we worked haunted houses, fair booths for charity. We ran battered women’s shelters and hotlines. We were always giving back. I love this part of my mom. She really loves to help. She loves to be involved and she really has always been there for every one of her friends. Not all were grateful and that did not matter, my mom gives anyway…I love this quality and I am grateful to have this same quality in me and I am passing to down to my girls. They, of course,s reluctantly go and do volunteer work with me. I know that their complaints will someday be gratitude for learning early to be compassionate, kind, nonjudgmental and unconditionally loving.

PS there is a wonderful organization called Earth gives.org…you can find amazing gifts to give to families globally. This is a great way to teach your children philanthropy and compassion.

So when letting go of the old thoughts about the holidays remembers that it is up to you to decide how you are going to feel and what you are going to do to have an amazing holiday.

I look forward to hearing about all of the amazing new holiday traditions you have recreated for you and your family….Have fun thinking of all of the amazing possibilities…

Sending love, light and lots of holiday cheer…

Dorcy

You may be asking what is a hawk to do with parenting? and as it turns out plenty. We have a one hawk spotting a day rule in my family. Thia rule was placed on me by my children a few years back when hawks just seem to be showing up out of nowhere. In the most random places in the most interesting times. I looked up what Hawk energy means before and never really found much on it. But this week since the hawk was guiding me up and down the street with my children I figured I’d give it another look and see. and here’s what I found.

“Hawks are visionaries and messengers. As a totem they help to open the higher chakras so that we may hear and see the visions and messages that Spirit and the Universe are always sending our way. There is never a moment when the Universe is not trying to get a message through to us but we are so often too busy or unaware of what it is we need to be watching for! Hawk helps us to not only be aware that we are receiving a message but how to interpret them. The realm of symbols is also the realm of Hawk for Hawk is able to soar high above the earth to soar on the breath of Spirit, to commune with Spirit and thus understand through the intuitive level what the message means and with their keen eyesight, how to implement it once they return to earth through seeing the broader picture below.

Many of the messages Hawk may bring are about freeing yourself of thoughts and beliefs that are limiting your ability to soar above your life and gain a greater perspective. If one remains earthbound, then the possibilities of life are limited! It is this ability to soar high above to catch a glimpse of the bigger picture that is one of the aspects of Hawk medicine that makes it so valuable: If one is undergoing a difficult passage to know that just over the next hill is freedom and liberation if one keeps going can be a Godsend in supporting the person to keep moving forward! Likewise, if the path is not appropriate, Hawk Medicine can alert one to this and point out a far more favorable path.
Hawk medicine unites Heaven and Earth. Because of their ability to soar, they are able to reach up to the heavens to extract needed information and bring it back to earth. Much of this information is also very practical for use on a daily basis! It is not only higher concepts or ideas that are relayed, but also information we need to make our material or mundane lives more prosperous and fulfilling. For those who have difficulty attracting financial well being due to false or negative beliefs about money and success, Hawk can help to understand the true spiritual intent and purpose behind money and guide one in establishing new beliefs that are more joyful and abundant in nature.
Hawk can alert us to those times when we should NOT take action because we do not yet have all the information we need. For example, someone is thinking of about becoming involved in a relationship, personal or business, yet they get the feeling that something is “not quite right”. This needs to be heeded and Hawk sent forth to gather the appropriate information to help the person make the best choice. Sometimes the person finds that Hawk was telling them to steer clear for very good reasons.

One of the greatest gifts a Hawk medicine person can give the world is their visions of a better and brighter future. Visionaries are always ahead of their time and it’s not easy seeing what others are not ready to see. Often these people are not honored and recognized for their work and efforts until long after they have crossed over. And yet their work lives on to touch and enrich the lives of people the world over! Honor the Hawk people you meet in your life. Encourage them to soar so they may bring their visions and messages back to earth that all may benefit. If you are a Hawk person yourself, understand that Spirit can you an especial task to hold the energy of what could be, of potentials that are waiting to be envisioned and thus expressed through the mass consciousness. Seek out other Hawk people who can support you in your life and never allow others to cause you to lose sight of what is really important to you! Trust in the messages that Spirit entrusts to your special care and know that the expression of your visions will bring blessings not only to you, but also to all others!”

As a parent and a co-parenting coach I was awe in reading about the Hawks and even more importantly the Hawk medicine person. I often times find myself in thoughts and in feeling energy for others that I’m soaring above that I can see things in know things for their life and the direction they should be going, before they can see it. Sometimes this is the news that hangs around my neck and often times in my coaching is a gift that the aides and offering a light to the path that sets them free. for the first time in a long time I can see that this ability I have which oftentimes feels like a burden if used properly is a gift. If you’re reading this and you can relate you probably find the same comfort that I found which is I’m not alone. opportunity as parents to not only teach our children how to connect with God, the universe or whatever your spiritual belief is and what I have found since I’ve been apparent for the last 11 years and been working with children is that they often times in so many meaningful and deep ways teach us how to view our lives from the hawks eye view.

As a parent, often times we see things from a Hawk’s eye view. we have either learned a lesson from experience, or we can see things that are dangerous, harmful, or not the right direction for our children and so we want to guide them in the right direction. Sometimes his parents we think we see it from a hawk’s eye view and try to force our children to do it our way of course if we think about that and we know in our hearts that really isn’t a hawks eye view and more a desire to control.

This week I’ve been working very diligently on a new project of licensing instructors to teach my conscious coparenting course. There have been delays technical difficulties getting the website set up and anything and everything you can imagine. I believe that the hawk showed up this week to let me know I was on the right path. This particular hawk I believe was a spirit guide opening my heart chakra allowing me to soar above my work and really understand that their teachings of the conscious co-parenting Institute is coming out into the world in a really big way. The men and women who have already signed up for the licensing program or extraordinary human beings ready to take the co-parenting principles and skills and easy to implement techniques out into their communities with pride, passion, and purpose.

As as I soar above looking at my life from a hawks eye view. I am nervous, excited, at times overwhelms, but I feel very focused, purposeful, and driven. I am grateful for the Hawks in my life and for the spirit guides for whom they represent. I am grateful that the hot sub in my life during times of turmoil and strife, and in times where my purpose and passion are on the forefront in their presence is a continued reminder of the driving force and desire to bring positive change in the world. for hot start daily reminder for me to keep moving, moving, and moving in the direction of creating positive change for divorced families globally.

There were some delays with getting my licensing program launched and I was beginning to get frustrated but now I know that there were some things I still needed before it could take off. I am watching the licensing program next week for a couple of days and the following week for a couple of days. If you’re interested in learning more feel free to contact me at 888 – 379 -7279.

Thank you to those of you who have already signed up who feel driven by the same purpose and passion as myself. I’m excited to teach you and to guide you into your purpose and passion driven life.

Create a great day!

Dorcy Russell

I laugh at how by the end of the week we effectively had incorporated a new child into our routine and it felt like we had been doing this all along. My Nephew and I would walk my oldest to the bus stop and then race back up the street, it is pretty sad when you get your butt kicked y a seven-year-old. I was excited every morning after seeing my second daughter off on her bus to have the 30 minutes with my nephew as we sat in the carpool lane of his school. I was able to read a new friends amazingly clever and hilarious book, Feng Shui Love. We chatted about the book he was reading and I have to admit it was a little stolen pleasure in what could have very easily been a stressful and difficult week. We created a positive out of what could have been perceived as a negative.

Only a few small hiccups, just when I thought I had it all under control, 30 minutes before picking up my child from carpool for dance on Tuesday I realized it was at the same time I had to pick up my nephew on the other side of town. A fleeting moment of panic set in and then this super mom was freaking out about how in the world I was going to achieve the impossible and be in two places at once. I could feel my cape slipping off and my “S” fading and then my oldest daughter had called they had finished showing goats and I reluctantly asked to speak with her father thinking he would say no or be irritated or worse say something in front on my daughter to make me look weak and helpless and unable to handle my co-parenting duty. I really had no other choice at the moment and I was going to have to take that risk. And there he was ready willing and able to pick up my youngest daughter in time to take her to dance while I picked up my nephew and we met at the dance school. Whew another small crisis handed with ease and grace.

Where I am going with all of this is simple: Co-parenting can be difficult, maddening and sometime an outright pain in the behind. It is a choice you and your ex make to create chaos or calm in your lives. You can choose to work together or apart. Sometimes we let our own minds run away with what we think someone is going to do that we don’t give them the opportunity to do something kind.

There are times in my own situation I wonder if we are ever going to make it through our differences so that we can get something accomplished. And then there are the times when Mr. Ex steps up and is there for me and more importantly our children. I am so grateful that we can look past our differences most of the time and put our children’s needs first.

Could I have made it through a challenging situation of needing to be in two places at one time without the help of my ex? Probably, however it made it a lot easier that I did not have to worry about it for too long as he was cooperative and willing to help. This is not always the case and it is important as a single parent to remember to not always rely or abuse the other parent when you are in need or a time of crisis. If you are always crying wolf your child’s other parent is not going to respond. Remember that your crisis does not constitute a crisis for your ex even if it does include your child. As single parents we all need to learn to take care of things on our own we need to make a conscious effort to work with our children’s other parent and to not always rely on them but to know that we can count on each other in times of need when it is related to the children is a luxury we should all strive for in our co-parenting relationship with our ex. Cooperating with your ex means laying down your weapons in the war of divorce in order to protect your children.

I am grateful that my girl’s father and I have come to a place where we work together and help each other out. I am grateful that I can express gratitude without feeling slighted and he can help without feeling owed. I am grateful that we can put our children’s needs first and even though we get irritated with each other we can focus on what is the most important which is our children.

Its so easy to stay negative and it take effort to be positive but the rewards are so worth it.

Create a GREAT day!

In love and service,

Dorcy Russell

Conscious Co-parenting Institute

It’s difficult parenting and finding the right words and tools to teach children about the importance of school and what I have found more importantly the life skills that you can teach them while they’re in school. For example I’ve always worried about what I’ve done in my past and how it will impact my children as they continue to grow and become more aware of who they are and as they spread their wings to fly in their own independence that they will throw back in my face what a hypocrite I am for not wanting them to make the same mistakes that I’ve made. But then thinking about it I’m pretty sure our parents have experienced the very same thing. My honor roll child is very smart. She loves school even though she knows I never liked it. She hasn’t taken my experience and made it her, she’s clearly taking her experience and owning it. As the parent of a middle school child, as many of you know, it’s a very scary thing to think about how fast our children are growing up these days physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Our kids have come into this world all knowing with an incredible capacity to live their independent lives regardless of who their parents are or what their parents do.

Right now we are sitting in the hotel room Savannah and I, while the youngest in our family Jensen, is fully engaged in her seven-hour rehearsal for honors chorus. Jensen was born early is very small in her forth grade body and ginormous in her spirit and electric voice. Honors chorus was a really big deal. As Jensen has come into this world is a very talented and delightful singer. At three years old Jensen told a very good friend of mine when asked what she wanted to be when she was grown-up she simply looked at my friends who I might add is a professional platinum recording artists and says “why a singer of course just like I am now.” We all laughed at that tiny little three-year-old thinking, rights she already knows what she wants to be when she grows up. But here we are six years later and my little professional singer at the age of nine was selected out of over 400 kids who tried out to participate in the elementary school honors chorus. She is one of only 75 kids in the entire state. I’m giggling to myself as I’m writing this article thinking what a boastful mother I am and how I always roll my eyes at the bumper stickers on the back of the minivans that I often see “my child is an honor student at such and such school.” Now I’m not going to go that far and post all of my children’s honors all over my car but I will post it all over the Internet.:)

Besides being a proud mother, these story are leading to something I have been experiencing more lately in my coaching practice. I am currently coaching the young man who’s in college playing football on a scholarship. He’s one of the star players and frequently gets MVP. He was a straight A student in high school and now that he’s in college he’s failing. His parents asked me to work with him and so I’ve been coaching him for the last four months. And what’s been discovered with coaching is the star athlete who has the potential to become a pro athlete despises football. You may ask yourself how something like this happened and how does he get so far and become so good at something he can’t stand and the answer is very simple, his father was a star player he also played pro ball in his first year of playing professional football for the NFL he had an injury and was no longer able to play football. He is very successful at the business he does now however the failures and fallen dreams of this once star athlete are now being lived out vicariously through his son. It’s difficult as a parent to have a child who excels so well at something and happens to be the same thing that you also in your youth excelled at and were not able to fulfill that dream in your adult life. This particular young man has been failing in school not because he does not know how to do the work he is failing because he does not want to play football, he is in college on a full ride, and he does not want to fail his father. His father is the guy who pushes him to the end. They lack the communication techniques to be open and honest with each other. This young man is doing everything he can to get kicked off the football team so he does not have to quit. This young man has been playing football since he was 3 years old.

Often times well-intentioned parents have no idea the effect they’re having on their children by pushing and prodding them along in what truly is their dream. As parents we think when our children excel at something that is what they should focus on and that is what they should do. We’ve all seen them the Little League parents sitting on the sideline yelling at their kids to do more, to put on a happy face, to be better to get in there to take down the other children. We seen the fathers who continue to coach and put their children in all the lead positions forcing them to play the sport that they so loved when they were young. We see the moms on the sidelines bringing the snacks and encouraging their children who often times seems so miserable to play harder and play smarter. Sometimes these are just small children in the early stages of elementary school at the phase of life where children really want to do everything they can to please their parents. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against Little League and understand fully the professional athletes have to start somewhere but let’s not all of us forget that it is a very small percentage of people that become professional athletes. Little League and sports and really any extracurricular activity that your stroke child participates in are for them, for their fun, fulfilling their desires, and meeting their needs.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how as parents we want our children to achieve the things that we never achieved when we were young. We want our children to excel in the things that speak to our hearts and our souls. We want our children to excel in the things that also speak to our egos. We forget that they have their own minds their own egos their own souls and their own desires. As parents we often times take advantage of the fact that children ultimately want to please their parents so we push and prod them along and doing things that they don’t always desire to do.

There is also the other side which I must admit I’ve experienced, which is my children participating in things that I don’t like at all things that I know their father loves and I can see them doing things to please him. They are not good athletes so it is hard for me to watch them struggle with sports to please their dad. I have also stepped back and realized that they do like playing some sports it is not all for their dad and that my old feeling from my marriage can cloud my vision with regards to the things my girls do that their dad loves. Having this awareness allows me to focus on what it truly is that my children desire and not what either their father or I desire for them or what we did not get to do from our childhood.

So as my children are processing through honors chorus and being on the honor roll I’ve also watched them struggle and things that they’re not so good at yet they attempt them anyways. As a parent, it’s is tempting to try to convince our children to do what we like and want instead of focusing on what they love and desire. It’s temping as divorced parents to push the things that you like and pull from the things the other parent likes. I am also a singer and love the arts my children’s father is Mr. Sports. My children are naturally gifted in the arts and music and not so much in the sports arena. There was a time I fought all sporting activates because of my own personal feelings. Now we strive for a healthy balance and let our children decide on the to extra curricular activities a year. Its not easy co-parenting, its not easy sharing time and passions, it is however one of most honoring gifts you can give to your children.

It is so vital to remember that we must HONOR our children as fellow human beings. We must hold sacred their innate desire to please us and to be sure that they are participating in the activities they truly love and desire not what we want for us through them.

In love, light and service,

Dorcy Russell

www.consciouscoparentinginstitute.com

This week the holidays in my coaching practice has come up quite a bit and then of course, like many things they have shown up in my personal life. A lot of my clients this week have been worried about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. A lot of my clients do not have their children this year for the very first time on Thanksgiving. And some of my clients are experiencing the holidays with their children without their spouse or significant other for the first time. People are worried about spending the holidays alone, and people are worried about changing the way the holiday will be they are experiencing lots of anxiety and stress about having a different experience for Thanksgiving.

All stress, which is a secondary emotion of fear, comes from a decision forming incident in our past that has created our limiting belief systems. For example Thanksgiving holiday in your family could mean the entire family gets together parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc to share a day and a meal. For some people this is a joyous occasion and for others not so much but because it’s the way that they’ve done it their entire lives they feel this is the way it should be, and when we live in the shoulds, we live our lives in limiting belief system.

It’s important to remember that we have a choice on how we live our lives and how we process the information from our past and how we allow it to impact our present. An examples with regard to the holidays, I am a client who is spending her first Thanksgiving alone with her children, her extended family is dysfunctional wrought with alcoholism abuse and neglect she’s made the decision for her family but spending the holidays with them is too painful for her. She is now processing to her lower self of guilt because she has two children who love to spend the holidays with their cousins and to see their grandparents. She is feeling alone and guilty, and like she is a bad mother. I’m sure many of you can relate to this and maybe not the exact situation but a situation very similar and are not sure how to process through it.

One of the most important things to remember in a situation like this is that you are processing through a button or what I like to call a decision forming incident from your past which is controlling your thoughts and emotions and behavior in your present. Because this particular woman had experienced Thanksgiving with her entire family her entire life and has made a decision that it’s just not what she wants to do any longer she’s feeling horrible about it she’s processing through her lower self and then she starts to think about it which is her middle self trying to rationalize her decision and yet because she hasn’t learned the skills on how to recognize where all this pain and stress and drama are really coming from she continues to slip back into her lower self thinking and get stuck.

With this particular client and with many others we worked on recognizing the decision forming incident from her childhood that is causing her all of her pain in her present. We worked on creating new traditions and positive belief systems from here and moving forward. This Thanksgiving my client is taking her children to Disneyland for Thanksgiving. They’re having dinner with the princesses, she does not have to cook, which of course means she does not have to clean up afterwards, and she does not have to deal with any of the abuse that’s constantly thrown at her from her family. She’s consciously made a choice to do something different and create fun lasting memory in her life and the lives of her children. This decision forming incident was from her old mindset that Thanksgiving is a time for family to get together and then treat each other horribly. She had accepted this as reality for her entire life until this year. Making the decision to process through your higher self is a choice. Making the decision to do something different and create new memories in your life is a choice. Making these choices is not always easy, but more often than not one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself and for your family.

This Thanksgiving I am alone. My children will be with their father and I found out last night that the man I’m dating and his two children won’t be here until seven o’clock Thanksgiving night. I felt all of my own fear well up inside of me, stress, sadness, and my greatest fear of being alone was engulfing me at the moment I found out. I was completely processing through my lower self and wanted to project that out onto him as he was doing something to me when in reality I was really just processing from my limiting belief system. I have re-created the Thanksgiving holiday for myself, my kids are with their dad I would travel and when they were with me I would have family and friends over to the house and we’d make a big dinner to pull out my tree to decorate it. This year I was again going to do something different and when I found out that I was truly going to be alone for the majority of the day I really started to panic. My mind was racing all the way back to my original decision forming incident my original limited belief which was that I had to be surrounded by people on Thanksgiving because that’s the way I was raised I started down that road of feeling bad for myself and being upset with the man that I love. But now that I stepped back and realized that I was processing through a button I almost chuckle to myself in realizing that we are all a work in progress. We all processed through our lower, middle, and higher selves all the time. I want a button is pushed we easily slid back in to our fear-based lower self thinking.

When I realized where I was at and from where I was processing I just as quickly and easily made the decision that this is not where I wanted to operate. So I shifted from feeling sorry for myself and being alone to doing something I have always wanted to do for Thanksgiving which is head down to the homeless shelter and feed the homeless a warm holiday meal. This certainly puts it all into perspective for me. I am also making a plan to accept the invitation from my ex and head over to his house for a few hours to spend time with my girls. I will make my Thanksgiving dinner, however I will change the tradition from watching football and eating a turkey dinner at around one o’clock to eating that lovely meal with the wonderful man in my life and his children in the evening.

Sometimes things don’t always work out the way that we planned, sometimes things don’t stay the same, sometimes we are alone during the holidays, and sometimes were surrounded by people we love. What’s important to remember is that Thanksgiving, Christmas, really any holiday is just another day. You can create new traditions new ways of spending your holidays and new ways of spending your days in general by changing the way you think about them and truly by making a choice to do something different.

I am grateful this Thanksgiving season for the abundance of joy, peace and happiness I achieve on a regular basis. I’m grateful for all the wonderful people who impact my life every day. I’m grateful for the negative situations in my life for they afford me the opportunity to react or not react, they afford me the opportunity to learn expand and grow. I’m grateful this Thanksgiving holiday for my parents, neither of which I have a tremendously fantastic relationship with, however both have brought difficulties and challenges and love into my life in ways that have allowed me to have tremendous purpose in this lifetime and to be the voice and force of change for so many families globally. I am grateful to have a wonderful loving partner in my life who loves me for me and puts up with my workaholic behavior and all of the quirks that make me who I am. I am grateful for my ex who has let go of some of his anxiety and anger and has invited both me, and my beloved to his house for Thanksgiving. I am the most grateful for my children, they are my inspiration, they are a beautiful example of love and light in my life everyday. They keep me humbled, real and always striving to be a better person and example in the world.

Thank you for reading if you have created new traditions in your family for the holidays I would love to hear how you have moved from being in the negative mindset to creating some new and positive memories.

With a grateful and loving heart,

Happy Thanksgiving…

Dorcy Russell

http://www.ConsciousCoParentingInstitute.com