If you are ready to recover your authentic children, this post is for you...
Chosen (targeted, alienated) Parents ask me all the time- what can I do, my child hates me? Should I keep showing up? Should I keep reaching out? My response is always the same, I remind the Chosen Parent that your beloved child does not hate you and yes, of course always keep showing and reaching out, unless there is a restraining order, if not, show up!
The first step in recovering your beloved child is to stop feeding the delusion of this lie that your child hates you. It is not true, despite what they say, it is not true. What you believe unconsciously, is what you bring into your life to heal and transform. Your child loves you and has chosen you to recover the family.
YOU ARE IN CHARGE!!!
And there are plenty of things you can do. First, you have to change the way you think. I know this concept is difficult until it isn't. Once you change the way, you think there is a magical shift in the way you show up. You are "being" different which opens the space to "do" something different.
Your lower-self consciousness, which is anchored in fear and the victim mindset will hold you stuck in the belief that this is not true. I know this is true, these simple universal truths are the guiding force to eliminate the trauma in your life.
I know, I have been there, I have lived it, I am under attack by the negative advocates and I don't see this as something bad is happening to me, I see it as part of the chosen path to enlightenment. I chose to have experiences to awaken to my soul's true purpose of being. Are they annoying, yes sometimes, and I focus on sending unconditional love and transformative healing love to them every day.
All of us have a Higher Purpose. Each and every one of us on this planet has a higher purpose of giving and receiving of unconditional love. This is the awakening we must all come to realize. The question for each of us as individuals, is how do we do this in our own experiences? What is the higher purpose in action for each of us? We all divinely held and created. We are all an expression of unconditional love.
Our experiences in life are our chosen experiences. Most are unconscious. We have children to awaken to the limiting beliefs programmed in when we were young. If we have a story about not being lovable, we will bring in many experiences to prove to our lower self that we are right. We are manifesting our life experiences 100% of the time. Most people do it unconsciously.
Our lower and higher selves are pulling the experiences forward, and instead of seeing things through our lens of deservingness we see things through our lens of lack and unworthiness. We are not Victims we are all volunteers in our own life's journey. We have chosen our experiences and sometimes not so wisely and often times unconsciously. The good news and you can make a different choice whenever you want.
I was told once by a spiritual teacher that the life lesson of our greatest pain is also our greatest strength once healed and more importantly transformed becomes our purpose driven gifts to the world. This made no sense to me until I did the inner work. When I went on my own journey of self-discovery, the feelings of profound pain manifested through the belief that I was unlovable and unworthy from my childhood. They have been transformed into the solution to end the suffering of the family dynamic known as "parental alienation." To heal the trans-generational trauma in our families. That is a heavy load to carry that was born out of massive struggle.
The more I do this work the clearer it is for me. The more lives I touch, the lighter I get. It seems like it would be the opposite however, it is not. The more I help other people see the light within themselves, the brighter my light gets, allowing me to shine the light and help even more people. It is like spiritual candy when you discover your gift. I will let you in on a little secret, we are all gifted. Yep, each and every one of us. The difference between me and others is I have done the inner work, and I continue to do the spiritual work. This is not the work of High Road per se it is the inner work on myself. This is the work that must be done within each of us.
I know a lot of people will try to argue with me say that I am "blaming" them and the words of blame are your lower-self, blame comes from the micro-traumas from your childhood. So if you are reading this and blame is what manifests, then stop yourself and ask, why I am choosing to experience blame? When was the first time I felt blamed for something? Where did blame come from in my life? Sit with a piece of paper and ask the questions. Write the answers down. Trust whatever comes up to be the truth for you. Then take a moment and say to yourself. I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, and I LOVE YOU!!!!! Say these things to yourself. Say I love and accept myself exactly as I am here and now. Say it out loud and look in the mirror when saying it. Notice how it feels in your body when you say these things to yourself. It might sound silly, however, it is a significant step in your journey of recovering your beloved children.
This brings me back to the very beginning fo the post and the very first step in recovering your authentic children. If you just say, I don't believe I deserve to be hated or rejected by my children, you are allowing your lower self to be in charge and hold you stuck. This is a cover-up. This is your lower-self trying to keep you safe when in reality it is just holding you stuck.
Let me show you through my own journey what I am talking about. When I went through my divorce and when my children were starting to reject me, I had to do something, and I had to do it quickly. I reached out to the "experts," and nobody had an answer. Nobody knew what to do, and I was on my own. I know many people reading this have felt the very same way. I was so frustrated and felt my victim mindset creep up and settle in. I wanted to feel sorry for myself, I was alone, and the feelings of despair were also creeping in.
I went to see a spiritual healer at the prompting of a friend, and when I arrived, this divinely held being was sitting peacefully in meditation. I sat, and we talked, and at one moment he took my hands and said, "Mama, that is you, you are the healer and protector of the children. Your children do not hate you, that is not possible, they love you deeply, and they are poking you to awaken. These are your triggers, and it is time to heal and transform so that you can shine the light for others."
I was in the mortgage business at the time, and so this made no sense to me and interestingly it was not the first time I had heard that. He said to me some of the most profound words I have ever heard:
"You have chosen this path, and while it will seem dark and lonely at times you're never alone, and you are here to change the world. This is a purpose you chose before you arrived. This is your soul's agreement. So the greater the pain, the greater the gift. People are counting on you to step onto your path. It is time."
I must admit, I resisted this path for a few more years. I did leave the mortgage business in the height of my career, went through a coach certification program, and started coaching kids in the entertainment industry, and doing my best to avoid anything to do with divorce and conflict and yet the Universe, God, my Higher-Self had different plans. I have been on this journey with you, each step of the way ever since.
When I fully stepped into recovering children and families through Conscious Co-Parenting, I was really still halfway in. Resistance is strong until it isn't. I was at a party at a friends house, and someone was reading cards, so I drew the cards and the person reading said it is very clear, you need to pick a lane and go deep. You need to step up, the children are counting on you. This message was so annoying as I loved doing Higher Purpose Mastery and business coaching work, it was my outlet for dealing with families in their struggles of high conflict divorce. I heard the message loud and clear and stepped fully onto this path of recovering children. I had no idea that the path would eventually bring me full circle and back to the work I so love. Through this journey, I was able to bring Higher Purpose Parenting into the world and have launched the Conscious Co-Parenting Coach Training Academy. Of course, now I see the the reward for doing God's work on the planet. (Thank you, I'm sorry, please forgive me and I love you. There are always opportunities every day to clean energy. 🙂 )
You see I can't do this alone. One that would not be fun, and two, true healing and transformation begin with you, the chosen parent. The same lesson I had to learn is the lesson you also have to learn. The good news for you is you do not need to spend 10 years trying to figure everything out, I have already done the heavy lifting.
So today, there is one thing to do, that is to go back and read this again, stop, sit down, and do some journaling. Ask yourself some important questions;
1. Why have I chosen this path?
2. Am I here to help others recover their children?
3. What is the story I have been telling myself that is manifesting in holding me stuck in my victim mindset?
4. What do I want? Why do I not have it yet?
5. what am I going to do today to start my journey of recovering my authentic child?
Don't forget your new mantra, " Thank you, I'm Sorry, Please Forgive Me, and I LOVE YOU!" " I love and accept myself exactly as I am here and now!"
I will close with an opportunity for you if you are ready to take this journey of self-discovery and recover your authentic children starting with the authentic child that resides within you, please join me in Higher Purpose Parenting online classes and coaching program. I have the privilege of certifying coaches and teaching hundreds of people these techniques, and it would be honored to assist you in discovering your hidden blocks that are holding you stuck in your alienation story, and help you recover your beloved authentic children. If you are not ready, that is okay too. Just apply what you have learned here and let your healing journey begin.
To find out more about Higher Purpose Parenting click here.
Until next time... peace in so you can have peace out,
Recovering Alienated Children Begins With You