Does this sound familiar? You have been going to "reunification therapy" to have greater access to your children and to simply spend time with your child. Things have not improved despite every effort you have made to get them to see you.
You continue to hear the same story from the therapist– "Your child is just not ready to see you." You have done everything the therapist recommends and yet, you are still alienated from your child with no improvement. Often times, reunification therapists only see you or your child individually. This practice is completely counterproductive. Reunification requires the participation of TWO or more people. It is impossible to facilitate a reunification in a one-on-one therapy session. I am contacted regularly by desperate parents who have lost valuable time with their children and the loving relationship they once had, all while stuck in "conjoint" or "reunification therapy" with no improvement.
For further clarification about why reunification "therapy" doesn't work nor does it exist, please review the work of Dr. Childress (Psy. D). You can read one of his blog posts about this by clicking here.
You may be one of those parents– and that is why you are reading this page. You have spent your hard-earned money and followed the court orders, seeing the "reunification therapist," and yet you are still not spending time with your children. In some cases, the children see you, but they treat you like a stranger with disrespect and disdain. Often they are telling the therapist frivolous things like:
- "I don't feel 'safe' at dad's house" - with no explanation of why
- "Mom only buys me gifts to buy my love."
- "Dad does not respect my wishes."
- "I don't like the way mom talks to me, she is abusive."
- "My dad has not said anything about mom, this is all my idea."
- ...I even had a child tell his therapist he did not like the way his dad sits
When asked by the therapist to clarify their concerns, the child is only able to provide vague, and sometimes rehearsed, answers.
Don't be discouraged, help is on the way!
The High Road to Reunification is a protocol that works!
For More Information, Enter Your Name and Email Below
Due to the complex nature of these cases, an intake questionnaire must be completed prior to a scheduled consultation.
High Road to Reunification
provides children the pathway around the pathogenic parenting behavior - and back into the loving arms of you, their authentically protective parent.
My name is Dorcy Pruter and I am the CEO and Founder of the Conscious Co-Parenting Institute
I am a certified Conscious Co-Parenting, Custody and Reunification Coach and the creator of the High Road to Reunification™ workshop. I have personal first-hand experience, as an alienated child, who reunited with my alienated parent. I have taught and coached hundreds of clients on reunification strategies that work. I have studied and trained and collaborated with some of the world's leading experts in High-Conflict Divorce and Custody strategies. I am certified life coach and trained mediator trained by two of the leading mediation and conflict resolution training schools in the country.
Over the years, I have coached target parents, children, and even the alienating parents-- to reduce and eliminate conflict in their relationships. I have coached children on how to have a relationship and love both of their parents, even when their parent's relationships are wrought with conflict. I have become one of the most sought after reunification coaches in the world.
.....It wasn't always that way.
When I began my career as a coach, I was working with young people in the entertainment industry. What I learned very quickly was that many of them were struggling, and it had more to do with their parents than anything else. It was frustrating to see the same patterns over and over again. I had no idea what was happening, but was determined to find out.
Many of the issues I witnessed with the kids I was coaching, I had experienced myself. It was then that I began developing my skills as a co-parenting coach. Ultimately, those skills evolved into custody coaching, and then reunification coaching. I was told by many of the leading experts that, "there is nothing to be done about "Parental Alienation"" but, I refused to accept failure as an option, so I created the High Road to Reunification coaching workshop, to recover the healthy parent/child relationship for these families.
The High Road to Reunification is a four day program that provides the children and parent a safe and loving environment where the child and parent learn how to move forward into the new family paradigm.
The High Road to Reunification is NOT THERAPY – it is an educational and skill-building coaching program. The program works because this special problem requires a special coaching and educational skillset, which is counter intuitive to a traditional therapeutic model. As many of you have experienced, traditional therapy does not work in situations where children are under the influence of a pathogenic parent.
There is no "reunification therapist" designation, and most mental health professionals did not understand the pathogen at work. There is no such thing as reunification therapy and truth be told, "Parental Alienation" is not recognized as a diagnosis. I have heard hundreds of parents complain that their children are continuing to suffer at the hands of an ineffective mental health professional and participating in reunification therapy that has only made matters worse.
The common words being echoed back to alienated parents from the reunification therapist:
"Where there's smoke– there must be fire!"
Even if the therapist doesn't state the words, it is often implied by the way the therapist treats the parent, and the way their willingness to accept the notion that a child is not ready to see their loving parent. This is, in essence, what is implied, when a therapist says, "Don't worry, your children are just upset. Just wait and be patient and they will come around some day."
Waiting for an alienated child to come around is like waiting for the earth to stop spinning. It's a ridiculous notion and it is harmful to your children. Linda Gottlieb, one of the leading mental health experts on emotional child abuse, states that "even abused children don't reject their abusive parent, they just want the abuse to stop."
Leading child psychologist Dr. Craig Childress (Psy.D) discusses pathogenic parenting in his most recent book, Foundations. In his book, Dr. Childress fully explains this very diagnosable form of emotional child abuse; Attachment-Based "Parental Alienation." Dr. Childress takes a clear and concise step-by-step approach to explaining the pathogen for the authentically protective parent, as well as the mental health community, through the diagnostic indicators seen in 100% of the cases. This book is a must read for authentically protective parents and will provide all the information you need to arm your therapist to understand and diagnose pathogenic parenting. While it is not your job to educate the therapist treating your children– it IS their job to understand what is happening to your family, and to diagnose and treat their patients, or to refer them to someone who is competent in the field. If you are interested in purchasing the book on Amazon, you can use the Get Foundations button below.
The good news is that Dr. Childress recommends the High Road to Reunification program as the protocol that solves Attachment-Based "Parental Alienation" for your family.
High Road to Reunification:
A proven protocol to empower children with the skills needed to be in a relationship with both parents
Frequently, I am asked if the children are forced or being reprogrammed. This question is based on an old model and understanding of "parental alienation." The old model of alienation has been distorted by the pathogen and has destabilized the mental health community. The children are not forced and they are not being reprogrammed. In fact, children are surveyed at the end of the coaching program and children often make comments that the coaching program was fun, engaging, and they felt safe. Most children are relieved after they understand the authority of the courts, and are willing to participate to get out of the middle of their parents' conflict.
The High Road to Reunification workshop works because it is NOT therapy. It is a sequential set of steps that are similar to being in school and being coached. The High Road is similar to a workshop or provided by coaches such as Tony Robbins or others who provide intensive training programs over a short period of time to help people learn the skills they need to change their life circumstance.
For An Intake Form and Program Overview Enter Your Name and Email Below
Due to the complex nature of these cases, an intake questionnaire must be completed prior to a scheduled consultation.
There are 4 phases to the workshop:
- Family Stabilization: A 4-5 day educational and interactive coaching workshop conducted by a trained High Road to Reunification coach.
- Family Maintenance: The family works with a local therapist to solidify the skills learned in the workshop. This phase is where the pathogenic parent is also taught the skills needed to reintegrate with children.
- Reintegration: The local professional will reintroduce the pathogenic parent in a supervised capacity in order to protect the child.
- The New Family Paradigm: This is the phase where the maintenance care professional facilitates the child's ability to be in both parents' home without the re-manifestation of the child's symptoms.
Parents and children are suffering at the hands of a vile pathogen. A pathogen, that not only robbed me of my childhood and a loving relationship with my father and extended family, but a pathogen that is vicious and continues to attack me and others, as we try to expose it and bring it into the light.
""Parental Alienation" is a child PROTECTION issue, not a child custody issue."
-Dr. Craig Childress
Here are some facts that have paralyzed your family:
- Mental Health Does Not Understand "Parental Alienation." The truth is, the the majority of mental professionals don't understand what is happening to your family and how to treat it. These are not my words, these are the words of the leading child psychologists and many in the mental health community. They are searching for answers and they are using your families to try to figure it out. The majority of mental health professionals are NOT trained in meeting the needs of this special population– there has never been specific training in "reunification therapy" for the mental health community. They don't realize the power of this toxic pathogen and how they are infected by it.
- You are NOT A VICTIM. While I know right now you may feel like a victim and you have certainly been victimized by this pathogen, YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. In order for you to rescue and protect your children, you must change the way you see the problem and yourself in the problem. YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S AUTHENTICALLY LOVING AND PROTECTIVE PARENT!! The ONLY way to protect your children is from a mindset of being authentically protective– and the ONLY way to do this is to empower yourself with knowledge and the victors mindset.
- Properly Educated Mental Health Professionals Are Your Ally. While it may not feel like it now, and it is not your job to educate them, the mental health community is also suffering at the hands of the pathogen. Our goal is to recover the mental health community and empower them with knowledge to rescue and protect the children. It is your job to rescue and protect your children, and you will need mental health to help you do that.
- "Parental Alienation" is not a an actual pathology unique to all of mental health that can be diagnosed by a mental health professional. That is a fact and the sooner you realize what is actually happening, the sooner you can help your family. This idea that everyone keeps fighting about whether or not "Parental Alienation" is real or junk science must stop. The pathology is not unique to all of psychology and in fact is able to be diagnosed by a mental health professional who is properly trained in family systems, attachment theory, and personality disorders as what actually is emotional child abuse and not "Parental Alienation." Any other therapist will miss the pathology and make matters worse. This is a known fact and this is not therapeutic advice.
"I solved the crisis of "Parental Alienation" in my own family, by using the same principles taught in the High Road to Reunification"
Because I was an alienated child, I bring a wealth of knowledge and insight that most people don't have. I was also a target parent who was able to stave off the alienation of my own children, and preventing it from taking hold of my family. I was able to maintain a 50/50 co-parenting arrangement, even with a heavy travel schedule.
As mentioned before, I went through my own divorce which resulted in my alienating mother, aligning with my ex-husband and trying to alienate me from my children. The man I was dating after my divorce, was also being alienated from his child. These events brought a perspective I had not really considered before: what it was like to be my own father.
I had never considered what was happening to my dad. I never thought about his devastation at being alienated from his older children, and the difficulty it caused in the relationship with his current wife and the children that he was still raising.
My father and I tried to have a relationship for many of my adult years. It was not good for most of those years. It was fake, and I was haughty and arrogant towards him. I felt entitled and when I did not get what I wanted from him, I tossed him aside. I accused him of horrific things. My father responded in kind. He was angry, sad, hurt and he lashed out. We did this dance for nearly two decades...
I share this information with you so you are aware of how deeply I understand you and your children, and the extraordinary power of the pathogen. I have been exactly where both of you are.
It was out of sheer frustration and lack of a clear answer and solution, that I went to try to figure out what the actual problem was, what the solution was and WHY the mental health professionals were not getting it. This is when I discovered the terminology, "Parental Alienation," coined by leading expert at the time, Dr. Richard Gardner.
I read and studied everything I could get my hands on; back then, there was not a lot. I read Divorce Poison by Richard Warshak, and I have a full and extensive library of all the books I can find on "Parental Alienation," personality disorder, childhood trauma, attachment theories, emotional intelligence, how the brain functions and is wired, and how to grow neural pathways and how to change your mindset. I went out on a journey of self discovery and to solve this problem for myself and for my family.
I have trained and studied and when offered, became certified to teach and coach with some of the world's leaders on the subject of "Parental Alienation" and high-conflict custody and divorce solutions.
When I was in my mid thirties, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I knew I was running out of time. Failure was not a option and I had to solve this problem with my dad. I had to reunite with my dad and I had to help him reunite with all of his alienated children.
I did it. I solved the "Parental Alienation" dynamic in my own family. I reunited with my dad and I prevented the alienation from taking hold of my children.
I learned and mastered one of the most valuable lessons I could have ever learned. It has become my mantra, if you will:
There are NO VICTIMS, ONLY VOLUNTEERS!
It took someone outside of mental health to create the process of solving the problem. It took someone on the inside of mental health to properly diagnose the problem. This person is Dr. Craig Childress. It is through his diligent work and desire to recover the children, that the diagnosis has emerged.
The High Road to Reunification is the perfect resolution to
your "Parental Alienation" story.
See what some of our reunited parents have to say:
"High Road to Reunification was nothing short of a miracle..."
"For the past four years I had been in the twilight zone. I was falsely accused of abuse, the courts took my child. I lost my child, my home, my job, and wealth fighting for my child. I was at wits end until a came across an article written by Dr. Childress that led me to the Conscious Co-Parenting Institute. This one act of desperation and determination, CHANGED MY LIFE AND LED ME TO A FULL REUNIFICATION WITH MY CHILD!"
The High Road to Reunification 4 day workshop accomplished what was never possible with the reunification therapy we participated in for almost four years. We were able to get the court to see what had happened, to order the proper protective separation, our family has gotten back on track, and I was able to get my child back. We are doing great! The work we did in the workshop was powerful and effective. It was not therapy and more like school. We learned conflict resolution skills, healthy communication skills, how to function in a healthy family environment, and much more. I recommend this process to any parent who is the target of parental alienation. Dorcy gets it, she is great with the kids and we love her and what she has done for our family. We went from a bogus retraining order, failed supervised visits, failed reunification therapy, to full reunification in 60 days. The 60 days was from when I contacted Conscious Co-Parenting Institute, to when we were able to go to court and get the orders needed for the proper protective separation and High Road to Reunification. I could not have done this without the help of Dorcy Pruter and Dr. Childress and their amazing ability to cut through the chaos and help the courts understand what was really going on and do what was in my child's best interest. Do yourself and your children a favor and contact the Conscious Co-Parenting Institute today.
I really appreciate the education components of the workshop and how they were shared to all participants at the same time. This allowed for all of us to get to the same place of understanding and then move on. I also enjoyed the fact that we did not have to get bogged down in being re-triggered from events of the past. High Road is a refreshing solution focused approach to a complicated family situation.
"Dorcy has a no nonsense approach that will inspire you to take action and reunite with your alienated children..."
“Dorcy has a no nonsense approach that will inspire you to take action and reunite with your alienated children..."
"I was alienated from my children after my divorce and was blindsided when my daughter decided to stop coming with me and had shut me out.”
I started coaching with Dorcy in 2008 and I was already fully alienated from my daughter and my son was on the way out the door as well. I was not sure what to do. I was part of a support group, however the group did not really provide solutions to the problem. Dorcy was able to help me see where I was getting stuck and making things worse.
I have coached with Dorcy in several of her programs including a program called Higher Purpose Mastery. In that coaching program, I learned about myself and how to become the best person I could be in relationships. In fact High Purpose Mastery allowed me to open up my mindset to a different way of approaching my children. A key take away in reunification work I did with Dorcy, was to shift how I was showing up. Specifically, I shifted out of feeling like a victim and into feeling like an empowered parent.
When my daughter and I first started to reconnect I felt the natural pull of wanting to educate her, and find out why from her, however, Dorcy taught me that the why I was looking for was not to come from my child, and that the best thing for me to do was make it easy for her to be in relationship with me. As Dorcy would put it, don't tickle the guilt button. I am happy to report my children and I are doing well. My daughter and I are able to speak freely about things and have a very open and loving relationship. I let her express herself without feeling the need to correct her or judge her. It is from this place of acceptance and unconditional love that we have found peace and the discovery that our bond has always been there.
Our reunification has been a wonderful experience for us both. My daughter is able to express her opinion and her experience and I have been able to listen without taking it personally. This has allowed us to take HUGE steps forward. We are like best friends. She is now an adult and she seeks my advice as a father and a friend and there is not more I could ask for in the end. We can only work on ourselves and inspire others. And as a parent, our job is to model for our children the best we can. The principles Dorcy teaches in the High Road protocol work, even for adult children. They are authentic and allow for family members to transform their lives and heal their hearts.
"The discussions after each section of the program were powerful and valuable..."
"I Participated in the workshop with my child and grandchild, I am a therapist and I did not feel like the program was anything like therapy."
I am thrilled at the results the workshop produced for my family. Dorcy was kind and when I wanted to do what I do, which is therapy, Dorcy was understanding, she took me aside and I was able to express how I felt. Dorcy was able to explain, why therapy was not an options and I was able to move back into the participant mode.
I would recommend the High Road to Reunification to any families struggling with parental alienation. I would also recommend that the process would be helpful to the alienating parent. When the whole family learns the same skills it helps the child learn how to love both parents and not get caught up in their parents conflict.
Alienated Grandma and Therapist
"I have reviewed the High Road Protocol and it is my professional opinion it contains the proper catalytic interventions in the proper sequence to effectively and efficiently resolve the issues surrounding negative parental influence on a child as a result of a cross generational coalition of the child with one parent against the other."
The structure of the High Road protocol uses a variety of activities and structured interventions to activate and restore the child's normal-range and healthy emotional and psychological functioning.
The protocol calls for a protective separation from the pathogenic parent so the child feels free to recover and learn the skills needed to reintegrate with both parents. I created the Single Case ABAB design model for Attachment Based Parental Alienation for mental health to make a recommendation to the courts as either an assessment or remedy for "Parental Alienation". This allows the court and treating mental health professional to act in the best interest of the child when "Parental Alienation" is either proven or suspected. Emotional child abuse belongs in the same category as ALL child abuse, if it is suspected or confirmed it is a CHILD PROTECTION issue not a child custody issue. We as professional are required to protect children. Children are a protected class fro a reason.
With the Single Case ABAB Design Model for Attachment Based Parental Alienation, using the High Road Protocol we are able to recover children, protect them from emotional abuse, and restore their loving bonds with authentic parents. The protocol does not seek to re-expose and resolve past grievances that trigger guilt, blame and defensiveness in the child. Nor does it blame either parent for the family conflict, thereby removing the child from having to take sides in the spousal conflict. This approach allows the child to love both parents without creating loyalty conflicts in the child.
Dr. Childress has no business or financial interest in or association with either the High Road to Family Reunification protocol or the Conscious Co-Parenting Institute of Ms. Pruter
Craig Childress Psy. D.
Clinical Child Psychologist
"After 5 years of no contact and over $200,000 in legal fees, I am fully reunited with my two alienated children..."
"I hired Dorcy to participate in the Custody Resolution Method. Dorcy helped me understand the importance of keeping good records and organizing those records and then what to do with them once they were organized. She coached me on my mindset and how I was making things worse, and she worked closely with my attorney, by providing timelines that showed the obvious patterns of behavior that are frequently seen in cases of alienation, in both my ex and the children. She showed me how to use the timelines as a visual aide to educate the therapist, my attorney and the judge. "
After working together for six months, I was able to get a protective separation and full legal custody and temporary physical custody, until our family met certain measurable goals. My children are doing well. They are participating in activities like sports, acting and are very social. It has been over a year since we participated in the High Road Workshop and both my ex and I have a relationship with our children. I never thought I would see this day.
I would have included a photo, however my ex has moved from supervised visits to unsupervised visits one year after the initial workshop and things are going really well. We are working our parallel parenting plan and the kids are doing phenomenal and out of respect for my family and to maintain the continued success we are keeping our anonymity.
I highly recommend this program to any parent who is being alienated from their children. I coached with Dorcy before the reunification program, and it was worth every penny. She provides insight I have not found from anyone else. She really helped me understand things from my children's and even their mother's perspective. Because of this insight, I was able to stop being the victim and was able to be the hero for my whole family.
"The High Road to Reunification ended the alienation something that was never possible with the 5 different therapist involved with my family."
I have three teenage children. After their father and I split he decided to use the children to try to harm me. He started accusing me of drinking and doing drugs. My kids turned on me and he used them to spy on me and give him information. They would report that I was using drugs, when I was taking anti anxiety medication because of the divorce. We were in and out of therapy with no end or solution in sight. Things just seemed to be getting worse and worse.
My ex always told me I was crazy and so the kids started to do the same thing. They were never having to be responsible at his house and so they wanted and loved the freedom to come and go and eventually one by one they all went to live with their father. I was heartbroken and fell further into depression, anxiety and stress.
I had all but given up. I was afraid to take any of the medication I needed to take because my ex kept taking me back to court and saying I was a drug addict. He had my youngest who was only 12 at the time, testify in court that he saw me "popping pills". This was the bottom for me. I was put into a supervised visitation with my children, that I had to pay for and yet I had not done anything wrong.
I went out to a Facebook group feeling sorry for myself and posted a desperate plea for help. I asked for someone to help me, I had been a stay at home mom, my ex was a very wealthy business man, and he had taken everything and now even my children. All I wanted was to be able to see my children again. Someone in the group sent me some free videos the Conscious Co-Parenting Institute had posted about custody resolution. I watched the videos and contacted them right away.
I can hardly believe my good fortune. Dorcy personally coached me through what was the darkest days of my life. She brought a fresh perspective to the situation. She understood what was happening and she explained how my children were experiencing the divorce and even more the alienation. She helped me understand that my children did not hate me. This was hard at first, since they told me they hated me all the time. She told me to believe that this was not true. She knew, she was alienated once herself, and she had told her dad the same thing many times.
The moment I shifted the way I was approaching the divorce, was the moment everything changed. Dorcy taught me how to prove the allegations made against me were lies. When I went to court the final time, I was totally different. I approached the court from a place of being empowered, versus a place of feeling defeated. Everything changed. Since I was being accused of doing drugs, Dorcy advised me to take random drug testing and to lead with that in court, instead of waiting for the opposing side to fling the lies in court and me shying away from the conflict, I led with the truth and showed the judge that I was not using drug and not even alcohol. I explained that in the past, I had taken anti anxiety medication during the initial time of my divorce etc. The point I am making is that Dorcy was masterful at figuring out what was happening, my exes patterns of behavior, that he was using to destabilize me and hold me stuck. As soon as I could see it, I was able to move through the process and get the protective separation needed to reunite with my children. They were 13, 15 and 17.
We are all reunited and my eldest child is now in college and my middle child is off to college soon. They have a relationship with both of us now. Nothing has really changed with their father except he has remarried and does not seem as interested since he thinks he has lost. He has rejected the children and they are able to balance the relationships with both of us. The skills we learned in the High Road have helped us with all of our relationships. If you get the chance to work with Dorcy and go through the High Road program I would do it. I never thought reunifying with my children would have ever been possible, but it works.
"The High Road to Reunification accomplished what we were never able to do in therapy for over a decade.
My son and I shared another wonderful day yesterday packed with lots of hugs, learning, collaboration, and progress.
With the help of our coach Dorcy, (who spent 11 inspiring hours with us), it felt like we were connecting on so many levels and having a lot of wonderful dialogue about everything from funny camping stories to signing up for piano lessons; we even knocked out the ground rules for home, talked through sensitive issues, and practiced holding family meetings to address future issues that come up. It was lots of high fives by the end and my son said that he thought I was becoming more open minded and I thought that he was; it was collaboration to the fullest, and it felt really organic and natural.
After the workshop, my son and I had a nice walk to dinner, which my son nicknamed a "celebration dinner" in recognition of the wonderful progress we've made and probably the amount of food we ate:) and as we're walking out of the restaurant last night, the busboy came up to us and said something like: I saw you two here last night too, and I couldn't help but notice what an amazing father-son relationship you must have.
My son and I smiled at each other as my son reached around and put his arm around me and I kissed his head; I think at that moment we quickly realized that the love, collaboration, and progress was not just in our hearts and minds but, also showing in our actions and our behavior.
It was simply an epic day and I want to thank Dorcy again for all her efforts.
A Happy Dad
For An Intake Form and Program Overview Enter Your Name and Email Below
Due to the complex nature of these cases, an intake questionnaire must be completed prior to a scheduled consultation.
Due to the nature of the cases we handle, and the fact that we are often working with minors, we do not publish most of the families' information on the website. For those families seriously considering the High Road to Reunification as an option for their family, we will provide additional information for you to contact the reunited parents to discuss their experience and success with the High Road program.
Reunited parents are extremely generous and kind when they share their experiences to qualified families. We do not want to bombard them with lots of phone calls. We will provide the additional information after the intake process and initial intake consultation and it is determined that your family qualifies and is interested in progressing to the next step.