Happiness During Sadness

Life is full of ups and downs, and it's not always easy to stay 'happy' when you're...well, sad. Especially when you are not in relationship with your own child, as this is one of the most painful experiences. However, there are ways to be happy despite these tough times, and it will actually help you.

First, it's important to recognize that happiness is not something that can be achieved by external factors alone. It's an inside job, and it begins with gratitude. Take a moment to appreciate the things that are going well in your life, no matter how small they may seem. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude will help you focus on the positive aspects of your life, even when things are tough. When you don't have a relationship with your child, this can seem impossible. And yet it can be literally anything that you are grateful for. 

Second, it's important to take care of yourself. Happiness is healthy! Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. When you take care of your body, you are better equipped to handle stress and difficult situations. Additionally, self-care activities like meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature can help you find peace and clarity during trying times. It will also allow you to become a soft place to land for your child. When they fold back in, you want to be happy, healthy (mentally, too - not just physically). 

Third, mind over matter. When it comes down to it, your mindset will take you further than anything else. Your brain is the leader, so start treating it like one. Specifically, if you let it- it will lead you on a road down negativity. On the other hand, it can lead you down a road of positivity. It's all a matter of choice.  Stop feeding the delusion that you will only be happy if xxx happens. That one day when or if xxx comes, you will be happy. Because 9/10 times you will still be unhappy when that is achieved, because there will always be something else causing unhappiness. Now of course, when it comes to reuniting with your child, that you will find happiness in. However, even in doing so there will be times where you will have to learn how to navigate the new dynamic, maybe more conflict with a co-parent, etc. There will always be another source of stress or unhappiness so choose to be happy during the here and now.

Finally, it's important to connect with others. Humans are social creatures, and having a support system can make all the difference when facing challenges. Reach out to friends or family members for support, or consider joining a support group or seeking professional help if needed. The Chosen Parent Collective has helped parents create friendships and who help each other through similar situations they are in.

In conclusion, becoming happy despite trying times is possible, but it requires intentional effort. Cultivating gratitude, taking care of yourself, and connecting with others are all important steps to take in order to find happiness and fulfillment, even in the midst of difficult circumstances like being cutoff from a child.