To a lot of parents, reunification seems like climbing Mt. Everest. And we get it, it's definitely not easy. If it were, every alienated parent would be reunited.
And yet, it doesn't mean that it isn't simple.
There's a difference.
There are essentially 3 key ingredients to reunite with an alienated child. So here we go:
Ingredient #1: Remove Mindset Obstacles
Mindset obstacles, also known as limiting beliefs or mental barriers, are thought patterns or beliefs that hinder personal growth and well-being. A fear of failure, self-doubt, a fixed mindset, victim mentality, scarcity mindset, are just a few of the mindset obstacles that can significantly impact our lives in several ways. You must take the time and invest in the resources to help you unblock your mindset obstacles. Maybe you're worried you'll be faced with another allegation; maybe you truly don't feel capable of having that relationship with your child again. Whatever it is, you must learn what they are in order to work on overcoming them, so they stop holding you back.
Ingredient #2: Embrace Your Power
If you think you are only ever a victim of something, you release any and all power for you to do something about it. You can be victim of something and also not let it define you. When it comes to being alienated from your child by their other parent, if you feel that the only way to reunite is if your co-parent gets help, whether court-ordered or voluntary, you are missing out on the opportunity to actually recover your child yourself. You must recognize your unconscious beliefs, accept that cannot control your co-parent & their behaviors or desire to 'get help' - and you must know how powerful you are.
Ingredient #3: Take Action
After you've removed mindset obstacles and took back your power, you can now take proactive action. This means continuing to show up for your child, learning your triggers with your co-parent so you can mitigate conflict, learning how to interact with a high conflict person, and overall being the strong parent for your child to land. It is the confidence to regain the relationship you once had, not letting the past get in the way of making for a better future.
These three components are what most parents fail to realize are essential to reach their goal of reunification. If you need further support with accomplishing these 3 steps, that is what we do best here at Conscious Co-Parenting Institute. Take it from Shane, a dad who took Higher Purpose Parenting...
"I frequently got triggered and lived with a lot of self-doubt. These lessons helped me to figure out my triggers (Decision Forming Incidents) and where my self-doubt was coming from (Fear Based Actions) mostly. It helped me to clean up my side of the mirror. It enforced how I show up in life is what I attract in my life. It has helped me to become a better, happier person in general which will make me a better, happier parent for my children. This class helps to identify junk from the past and how to clean it up. It helps us to learn how to be present and authentic and show up loving."
Enroll today in Higher Purpose Parenting to get bonused our Conscious Parenting online course (certificate for court).