Are you in a a complex situation, possibly dealing with a high-conflict co-parent? A strained relationship with your child? Are you tired of feeling powerless? Feeling powerless can hinder the situation. Instead, learn the steps you need to take to become empowered.
1. Remember Who YOU Are
Write down a list of all your best qualities. I know, this seems unnecessary. And yet it is quite the opposite. You need to start conditioning your brain to believe you are worthy, great, confident, and fearless. If you don't, your brain will get overtaken by the stress, worry, and fear caused by the situation/stressful relationship. It takes routine reminders to and of yourself to get to a place of confidence and worthiness. So, start today. Sit down and start writing, and you will be surprised at how much you jot down about yourself. Soon you will hone in on your confidence. You can even say these to yourself in the mirror each morning.
2. Shift Your Deservingness
If we don't feel worthy of something, we will be our own worst enemy. We will self-sabotage, because our brain wants to protect us. Now, if we increase our self worth and believe we deserve something, we will do what it takes to get there, and nothing can stop us. The same goes for being more empowered in your co-parenting role, and with your child. Now, sometimes our deservingness is subconscious, so you may be thinking, 'of course I deserve to be treated better' or 'of course I am worthy of having a better co-parenting relationship' and yet if that were true, you'd have it. What blocks parents is thinking it is too hard, or impossible, or outside their control. It's like wanting a million dollars. Only the few will take action to obtain it, not because they think it's easy, but because they know they can get there and deserve to. These are things that often take time sorting and processing through, like something we work with in coaching here at CCPI. To really uncover what is holding you back in your worthiness story and unlocking the key to overcoming those obstacles.
3. What Do You Want?
You can't get anywhere without a destination. And you are less likely to achieve something that doesn't feel or look tangible. So, write down what you want. Who do you want to be in relationship with your co-parent, with your child, the kind of parent/person you really want to aspire to be. Then, visualize it. Imagine yourself being that person. Taking back your power, being the confident, strong, conscious parent/co-parent in your family. What would that mean for your child? What would that look like long-term? What would the benefits be? Why shouldn't you have that? Why shouldn't your child have that? Write down and visualize this outcome, and the more you do so the more likely you will achieve it.
By following these 3 steps, you can become empowered in no time. "it's hard, until it isn't, then it's easy" is something to always keep in mind when striving towards something you want. Remember, empowerment comes from within, therefore it begins with you. YOU can do this!