"Giving up is a form of self love" - is something many alienated parents feel is necessary for them.
What I am here to break news on is that while giving up on a completely cutoff child may feel like taking care of yourself, what it really is is prioritizing yourself over your child, and what they are enduring. It is not unconditionally loving, something a child expects from their parent--yes, even alienated children.
Building resilience is going to be a masterful tool for reunification. It will allow you to build and grow empathy, show up in a meaningful, empathetic way, and allow you to always keep the door open for reunification. The minute you decide to 'give up' and set an intention that the door is open, the door is actually not open. Because since you decided to stop showing up, and stopped focusing on reunification, it will not happen.
So, if you are at a place of wanting reunification, make the decision now. Focus on building those resiliency skills, so you can deal with rejection. So you can manage the emotions, stress, fear and understanding behind the rejection. So you can work on doing what is best for your child. You will only be able to do that from a place of resiliency.
To help you with this process, we have designed a Resiliency Builder cheatsheet. It is one small step on the reconnect roadmap, and what we go deep in during our upcoming program, Reconnect, with Dorcy Pruter. Get started with your cheatsheet now, right here.