The unfortunate reality of parent-child cutoffs and custodial interference is that many parents end up completely at a loss to where their child is. Both minor, and adult, children may be so cutoff from a parent that they move far away, or just simply live in a place that the parent has no knowledge of. This can include the other parent knowing where the location of the child is, but won't share it.
If this is you, keep reading. We have helped support many parents who have no whereabouts of their child. However-- it is not because we help them find them.
YOU have to decide the extent to which you want to find your children. To seek law enforcement, legal support, location services, etc. And, you must ask yourself what you plan to do if you do seek them. Be prepared, invest in the skills. And in the meantime, here are some tips on how to show up despite not knowing where they are, should you be seeking to reconnect.
1. Website
Children are known to google their own name. If not them, someone else may Google them. This provides an opportunity and a chance to indirectly reach them. Create letters in the form of blogs, have photos of them, share things on the site about things they love/have interest in, etc. Still write in a way that is in tune with our other guidance on communication, for example in this post.
2. Social Media
Take to social media to connect further. Whether it's directly to them (if not blocked), or recreating the website into a social media account for them.
3. Know the general area they're in?
If you don't know precisely where your child lives but know where they work or go to school, or any general area that they live in, try frequenting nearby places. This is not to directly run into them, and try to forcefully catch up or get them to talk to you. It is so they can see you, feel your energy, and remember who you are...
4. Have their number?
If you have their number, even if you are blocked or don't think it's the same number, you can still continue to message. Blocked messages still get received on a Mac computer, and unless the person responded saying that you have the wrong number, it may be the right one.
And most importantly, keep on shifting internally. Do the work so you can be the soft place to land. Get started with Tame the Pain 101. The ways that you attempt to show up even without certainty of it getting across to them, shows your dedication.
*if there is a restraining order of any kind in place, please consult with an attorney prior to showing up for your child.
How do I get them to unblock me?