For parents dealing with an emotional cutoff from their child, Father's Day isn't just challenging for alienated fathers. It can also be a challenging day for alienated mothers (or father's who also have father co-parents).
If you have been in a custody battle with a father co-parent, you may feel a lot of conflicting emotions today towards him. Maybe it's anger, because dads are being celebrated today, yet you are angry at your co-parent for interfering with the relationship with your children. Maybe it's sadness, that your children are honoring their father today, despite him getting in the way of them having a relationship with their mother. Whatever it is, we understand this day can be difficult. However--this day is to appreciate dads and their role in children's lives.
Despite your co-parent's actions, try shifting those negative emotions into positive ones.
If it's anger at what your co-parent has done or is doing, reshape that into empathy. Maybe your co-parent was alienated from a parent when he was a child, and this is unfortunately all he knows. Maybe he didn't have a supportive environment as a child, maybe he was abused. Whatever the case, practice empathy for your co-parent.
If it's sadness that your children are celebrating dad today, get to a place of practicing gratitude instead. That your children are showing appreciation and love for their parent. Remember, children love both parents, no matter what.
So, while these negative emotions may come up, try shifting them. Grab a journal and a peaceful place, and get to writing. Place yourself in your child's shoes to understand their role today, and place yourself in a empathetic position for your co-parent. Let the emotions come up, and then ask yourself where it's coming from, and if you need to feel those. What else can you feel for your co-parent?
Then, always always focus on conscious, positive proactive action.
Whether you have adult children, want to boost your co-parenting skills, or whether you want to heal your own story and become the higher-purpose parent you were meant to be, gift yourself the gift that continuously gives over and over. Whether it's a Chosen Parent Collective membership or one of our courses, when you invest in yourself as a parent, the rewards benefit your children, too. Get started today.